10 Kinds of Exhaustion

Today is a day of running around, can't keep anything straight, would loose my head if it wasn't attached type of day! The past few days are kinda a blur, which is sad--I admit. Saturday I had my very first day of Pathophysiology, wow, it's gonna be a lot of work...or so it seems! It's okay, I will keep this in mind...I can kick patho's butt, I can kick patho's butt. I think if I say this enough, then it will happen! After class I came home, ate with the fam, and then took a nap. Matt let me sleep, notice I said let me because he always gets me up after about 30-40 minutes of a nap some how or another. When I woke up it was 3:45! I couldn't believe it, the babysitter would be here at 5 to watch Lukas so we could go out to dinner with friends. I had to clean, dirty dishes had piled up, clothes were scattered everywhere, things were out of place, just a typical day in the Blackburn house. Matt decided he wanted to nap, so I made Lukas a snack, turned on Gabba, and cleaned as fast as my two hands would let me for the next hour. Somehow I managed to be ready in time for Amber to arrive. We had a fabulous dinner out at Metropol with old and new friends, all of us had kids so that ended up being half of our dinner conversation, haha. Sunday I kept Lukas home from church because he was still getting over his stomach virus, and I didn't want to do the boomerang effect--he give it to a kid in the nursery and then next week he get it back in nursery. It didn't sound too appeasing to me, so we stayed at home through the church service. We met my brother and sister for lunch and stayed out most of the day. We had an awesome day!

Monday was my first day as a clinical instructor, I have to admit, I liked it! I have a great clinical group and after clinicals, Lukas and I got to spend the day with my Mom! Another great day...which leads me to today...10 kinds of exhaustion! I had another class this morning, Research. It's going to take me a while to get the concept of statistical analysis, numbers, and such...but it's going to happen! I know it will, ha-ha. Anyway, I WAS on call today for work, blah. One of my co-workers graciously agreed to pick up my call shift from 7am-11am while I was in class. At 6:24am my phone rings, "Kari"..."yes" "We are going to need you this morning" "what?" "You are on call, we need you" I then go on to explain that Lisa took my call until 11, and she then told me, "Well call me at 11 and I will tell you if we need you". I said okay and looked at the clock. BLAH. The alarm was set for 6:35, and it was 6:24. I battled with the thought, do I go back to sleep for 10 minutes, or get up now? Hmm...go back to sleep I go! It felt like just a second went by and I woke back up, which is pretty much what happened. I decided to wear my scrubs just in case I were to get called in, BUT I had plans today. I had a dentist appointment at 2:30, AND I was going to get my car detailed (something that has needed to be done for probably 3 years or so).

At 10 I began to look at the clock, what is she going to say when I call her? Will they need me, and, if they do, for how long? At 10:55 we had a break from class, so I called. Sure enough, they needed me 100%. I headed over to the ER expecting for a long day. It actually wasn't that busy, not for me anyway. I battled with canceling my dentist appointment, but, I thought I may get to leave in time for it. Didn't happen. She let me leave at 2:30 which was my appointment time, they had already given my appointment away :( So, I had to reschedule for Monday.

No ladies and gentleman, this is NOT my car, but in my mind, it looked this way!

I came home, emptied out my car (all the trash, tupperwear from work, nursing bags, shoes, diapers, wipes, just about anything you can think of), and then headed to Clean Sweep. I ended up waiting for an hour on my vehicle, and in the mean time I sat next to this guy who was evidently full of himself. He kept talking about how he was having his car cleaned for his date tonight, and he knew she would really love him. He stayed on the phone for the entire hour talking about himself and his plans. I was trapped too, I had no where to go and set other than right in that spot. I wanted ear plugs, AND get this...when I make a phone call to my husband I hear the guy say "Wow, I can't hear because this person has decided to call someone while I'm on the phone." What??? He was on a cell phone, not a PAYPHONE. I didn't ask him if I could use his phone...and I wasn't going to ask him if I could use mine.

Needless to say, long day today! I am happy to be home. I'm trying to stay awake to watch Teen Mom with my momma, but my eyes are getting heavy and my little man is asleep :)

Always, Kari

Tired is not the word for it...

I am tired. Tired may not even be the word for how I feel tonight. I've worked three 12 hour shifts the past three days, and I'm worn out. 7:30pm could not come soon enough tonight, for more than one reason. One, I couldn't wait to get home, and two-my baby boy is sick with the stomach virus. My husband called me today and told me he had thrown up twice, and it made me want to immediately leave work and come home and get into "mommy mode". I know that "daddy" knows how to take care of our baby boy, but I feel like things are so much better when "mommy" is around. My poor baby boy wasn't as active tonight and let me hold him...believe me--he must feel bad because he's letting me hold him and he is sitting still! Please keep my little man in your prayers, I hope he feels better soon!

Excuse me, do you carry a computer around in your back pocket?
I decided it would be such a great idea on Tuesday evening to put on my work out clothes, get Lukas ready and tote on out to the gym. I belong to Urban Active, yes, just me. I can't get Matt to join because he says he is not "wasting" his money on a gym membership, blah! So...solo I went to work out and let Lukas stay in the Kids Club there. I made it to the front desk after finding a parking spot (that took forever)! I was on a mission to do spinning, as bad as it hurt my tale the previous weekend with Jessie, I was going to do it! It started at 6pm, and I arrived at 5:25. I get to the front desk, all smiles, ready to do it and the guy at the front desk (who ended up being rude to me), stated "that class is full, you will have to wait until 7!" WOW, I can't keep my baby there for 2 1/2 hours, what was he thinking?

I asked for a list of the classes that were actually available, he says to me "they are on urbanactive.com, you can find them there". I then proceed to tell him I was standing in the building and didn't have a computer "handy", so could he help me out? He gives me a list and helps the next member. I walk into Kids Club and didn't have a clue what to do? (This was our first time there). The lady at the front desk there helped me out SO much!!! I showed her this list of "classes" this man had given me, all is said was 5:45pm "jenny". Well that didn't help me? It could be aqua aerobics for all I knew!!! Some how she had a list with every class listed (what I wanted?)--so she directed me to where the class was (Urban Yoga), it happened to be earlier than the original spinning I was going to go to.

I walk into the "fitness room" and have no clue what to do! I see a room full of 50 people sitting on mats without any shoes on. I actually had to ask the lady beside of me if I needed to take my shoes off. She said yes. I thought, "I'm not prepared, I didn't paint my toenails, they are chipped!" Then I remembered it's a dark room and who cares anyway? So, I spent 60 minutes in this so called "yoga" class (at the time I thought I wasn't getting any kind of a work out because there was no sweat involved), for all I knew it was a bunch of weird positions called odd things (downward dog, and some things I can't pronounce). The next morning I was sore in every muscle in my legs, and my abdomen! How did that happen? Needless to say, I think I ended up getting a good workout and can't wait to go back!!

Always, Kari

When it rains...it POURS!

Stress got the best of me today!

Today I had a meeting scheduled with a nurse at Morehead State University. Let me back track by saying I am going to be a clinical instructor for Morehead, my students will be doing clinicals at UK. I had to bring Lukas along for the ride. It rained the entire way there (a little over an hour). I park, "think" I'm in the correct spot ( I had NO clue where I was going!), get the stroller out, put Luke's coat on, get him in the stroller...well you know how it goes. Anyway, I made it to the meeting area, I set down and get Lukas situated. I'm then informed I parked in the incorrect spot and that I may be towed. Here I go back to the truck, park, walk back in to the building in the rain. Throughout the entire meeting Lukas was just being a little boy, but was talking (jibberish), running around in the room, threw his chicken nuggets in the floor and proceeded to tell me "no no" (as in, I'm not eating those), and continued on with all of this for around 45 minutes. I really didn't comprehend anything I was being told because I was focusing on Lukas (but again, I had no babysitter to cover my time at Morehead and continued to apologize to them). I asked ahead of time if it was okay to bring him, they said sure (I'm going to keep remembering that they said that, haha). So, at the end of the meeting Lukas figured out how to open the door, before I turned around he was halfway down the hall! I ran after him and he laughed, I had to laugh too because he thought it was so funny. We come back into the room, he cries because I won't let him open the door again. I was informed I had to go and get an ID badge filled out in another building...so back to the truck (loading, etc) we go.

We find the correct building, I do the whole unloading process, I had to park forever away, it was raining and I had no umbrella and I proceeded to say out loud, "Why is everything so hard for me?" Lukas had no clue what I was saying but laughed at me and we walked into the building. ALL students around us was talking to Lukas, waving at him--he was putting on a show for them. I found an information desk..."YES!!!" I thought to myself, he directed me to the room I was supposed to have my ID made. The lady asks for my name and then informed me I wasn't in the system, I had to go to HR, and I couldn't get my ID made today! I nearly lost it (not in front of her), but after I walked out of the room I nearly cried.

Long story short, I was informed to come back another day (by the way I can't because I work the next three and start working for them on Monday! On my way home I decided to treat myself to a LARGE Coke! I'm talking cup so big it's hard to hold it with one hand! I get a phone call (one of the phone calls I made during this process that the person on the other end was "hopefully" going to tell me what to do, but I had to leave a message because she didn't answer), it was her! It was actually good news and gave me a feeling of relief as she told me she can help me through the process, and help me get things taken care of. Praise God, I felt so much better after I talked to her. I keep thinking of my initial thought "Why is everything so hard for me?" I tend to make things hard on myself, and although things will end up working out, I was still so frustrated at myself!  This verse will forever help me if I remember it in times of stress, or whenever I need to feel calmed:

"In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success"
Proverbs 3:6.

So, if I nearly would have prayed to God instead of saying "why does everything have to be so hard for me", I feel like things would have possibly went a little more smoothly for me. In all things I do, I should do them through Christ and he will lead the way :) I am now lying in my bed next to my baby boy while he naps, we are both calm as can be!

Dinner Last Night
I have to share a recipe I stumbled across from http://www.kevinandamanda.com/recipes/dinner/cheesy-chicken-bacon-avocado-quesadillas.html. I love quesadillas, and these have chicken, cheese, bacon, and alacado in them! I was so excited to make them, and they almost turned out as pretty as the ones you will see on the link above. Matt LOVED them, and ate the leftovers for lunch today. I plan on making them again, I actually cooked the chicken with jalapenos and then dipped it in jalapeno based Verde salsa, yummm!!

Deodorant can go anywhere?
To you the picture below is a picture of deodorant that goes UNDER your arms only!

To Lukas, this can go anywhere on your body! Lukas and I spent the afternoon cleaning my and Matt's room. I went through drawers, threw away old teeshrits/socks, and rearranged things. I walked into the kitchen to put a cup I had on my nightstand in the sink, came back, and noticed a different kind of smell. It smelled like Matt's deodorant, but I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Lukas is making noise in my closet so I walk over and find him holding his daddy's speedstick. He had the cap off and was gently putting it in his hair, I laugh and tell him where it's supposed to go and is for "daddy's". He then tried to put it on his neck and arms. I laughed so hard I cried. He was so proud of himself for "putting on deodorant", I had to call his nanna and tell her all about it.

Always, Kari

Yo Gabba, Gabba! (It might teach adults a thing or two...)

For most of you I'm sure you are unaware of the popular toddler show, Yo Gabba Gabba. Each episode is focused on a social topic like sharing, love, sleep, or eating. The premise of the show is that DJ Lance Rock carries five dolls in his boom box and when you say the words “Yo Gabba Gabba!” all five characters come to life in their own diorama world. For me, this "silly show" is part of our dailiy routine (day and night). Lukas is in love with each and every show, personally I am kinda frightened that adults dress in costumes and act the way that they do on the show. However, as I watch my son watch Yo Gabba Gabba, I laugh with him as he laughs because everything to him is so very innocent. To me, I think about the actors and actually wonder about them, like who is behind the costumes, is this what they do for a living? To Lukas, he sees bright colors, puppets, and characters laughing, all is well. He doesn't care about who is behind the costume or why they act the way that they do. I wish I could see things the way that Luke does, innocent and always fun. I pray to be more like Lukas, not to see the bad in things, but to see the good in everything. I pray to see the world more like my son does, if I can do that I feel I can be more Christ like.

This morning I decided to begin (what I plan on being a daily routine) of Zumba. I've been wanting to try it for a while, but I procastinate when it comes to working out, so I have yet to go to the gym. Mind you I joined the gym at the end of November and still haven't "gotten around" to a class yet! I ordered Zumba from an infomercial because they looked like they were having so much fun and I thought, "I can do this! I can be a pro and go into class at the gym and know what I'm doing". BOMB! I have no clue what I'm doing. I know this is day one, but these dancers are AWESOME, and I'm just a uncoordinated white girl who can't dance, at all. I love to, but it's not good. I did manage to work up a sweat, I'm unsure how though, but I can see that it could be a good work out. I'll keep trying. I made it through 30minutes of the 55 minute workout. The people below are the people that are teaching me in the privacy in my own home, I think my workout for Zumba will be "private" for a while before I venture out to the gym.

Always, Kari

Forgive and Let Go (among other things)

Today I had the pleasure of hearing an awesome message at Southland Christian Church. He talked about being forgiving and said something that will forever stick in my mind. It has made such an impression that I talked to my friend about it afterwards over lunch, and I shared it with my mom and husband after my son and I came home since they didn't get to go with me this morning. Our pastor said, "You will never have to forgive someone as much as God has forgiven you". This is so true. I have to be honest and say I have never looked at it that way and it made me think. I have never been one to hold a long grudge, but I have held grudges in the past. Today it was pointed out to me that God fogives me, what makes me think I can't forgive someone else? Who am I to make that decision that they shouldn't be forgiven, but I should be? I'm thankful for today's message and am excited to do what he shared with us today. He said for us to say this week, "Today is my chance". It's my chance to forgive and let go.

I've also been battling another issue when we go to church. Lukas is 17 months old and hasn't really been around a room full of children, ever. Whenever he's around other kids it's one or two, that's it. The past four church visits, he's either cried or I've had to be called to the nursery. He's such a great baby, but is having some seperation anxiety, which he hasn't had before. This morning I found myself telling the nursery worker, "we're back," I then proceeded to have a nervous giggle and said, "call me if you need me." As I sat through the service each time a number flashed across the nursery screen (they give you a number when you check in, which will forever be your number, if it flashes they need you), my stomach tied in knots. Thankfully, my number didn't get called this week. As I walked up the stairs I hear my son out in the hallway (I thought, oh gosh what happened). This week they said he was just tired so he cried a lot, but he was happy to see me. Honestly, on top of it being nap time (it was 1pm), I think we are dealing with seperation anxiety! Of course, I think if I were him I would be upset too if I realized I didn't know anyone in the room and mommy wasn't with me anymore. Here's a picture of my babyboy, no matter how big he grows, he will always be my baby :)

Last weekend my husband had some work friends over for the two big games that ended up being busts for us Kentucky fans. We will always stand by our boys though in this household! Anyway, my husband picked up some pretty cupcakes decorated in blue and white and sat them on the table. I was in the living room picking up and getting things ready for his friends to come over when I hear something fall in the kitchen. It didn't sound like a chair, nor glass, but like something plastic. It was. The twelve cupcakes my hubby, Matt, bought the night before was now lying on the kitchen floor. That isn't all I found. Lukas had hurriedly (note this all happened in a 30 second period), took a cupcake and shoved some of in his mouth. Not only was it on and in his mouth, but a handprint of blue was on the kitchen chair and on my rug. I couldn't help but to laugh and tell him how funny he was. I love being a mom, there is nothing like it! I'm sure this is just the begining of many "clean ups" I'll be doing with my baby boy!

Always, Kari